Curse

Count Feanor · Sep 20, 2005, 01:06 PM // 13:06

My friend sent me this email, and it was so hilarious that I needed to share it with the community. She is a writer for a newspaper.

How do these people survive?

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at
the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can
order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
> >
TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and
placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to
me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind,
I don't think I'll buy that! today." She said "OK," and I paid her for
the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
> >
THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they! kept asking for
a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
> >
FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have
a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and
the car keys to me . As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk."
> >
FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out
of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank" copies.
> >
SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set
the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
> >
SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the
back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
> >
EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
> >
NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she
needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be
fine. The mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer....." Dispatcher:
"Rush him in to emergency!"

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

ONECRAZIGUY313 · Sep 20, 2005, 05:12 PM // 17:12

Hilarious, but true! I feel bad for some of these people. But I find that a lot these people are mad at the world and blame everyone else for their mistakes. Like those people who spam and verbally abuse someone for getting a gold item and not giving it to them. Sad really.

Alura Pyro · Sep 20, 2005, 05:18 PM // 17:18

I went to sub-way and asked for minimal lettuce she respoded we only have iceburg I almost died

Count Feanor · Sep 20, 2005, 05:20 PM // 17:20

A friend of mine had that happen to them. Funny thing is, this kind of stuff happens all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alura Pyro

I went to sub-way and asked for minimal lettuce she respoded we only have iceburg I almost died

Too funny! LOL

Old Dood · Sep 20, 2005, 05:22 PM // 17:22

It is time to Thin the Herd.

Alura Pyro · Sep 20, 2005, 05:24 PM // 17:24

duck season you hunt duck
deer season you hunt deer
its time for tourist season

Divinitys Creature · Sep 20, 2005, 05:25 PM // 17:25

I suspect most of those are just jokes. But if they are not - please tell people when they are doing something dumb. If someone is too young to have ever heard someone use the word "dozen" let them know. They will only continue if you don't.

Rayea · Sep 20, 2005, 05:28 PM // 17:28

hey, i agree with old warrior dood and Alura pyro....

shame there isnt something that will make the terminaly stupid sterile....
then again, that would leave my are totaly lacking in any kind of workforce after about 20 years.....
meh, im willing to cook my own stuff and i dont need a petrol pump attendant....BRING ON THE CULL...^^;

Count Feanor · Sep 20, 2005, 05:59 PM // 17:59

These are not jokes. These things actually happened to her. She is a friend of mine. They seem amazing, but given the experiences I have had in my life, I'd believe them.